Visions and Revisions

Moving Sale!

2011-01-29T13:56:00.001-08:00

I am moving! Please look for me at www.lazyflydies.blogspot.com.

There is no sale.

Helpful tips from Bust blog:

2010-03-20T12:02:00.001-07:00

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

No Lingering

2009-10-08T19:42:00.000-07:00

This is the sign you see when you leave Thailand.

Either it means "get moving buddy, your stay in Thailand is over," or it's a meditation on the transient nature of existence.

Pictionary

2009-10-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

Here is a Syrian student's interpretation of "girl" for a game of Pictionary.

See if you can get this next one:

Did you get it?

It's Pamela Anderson. (Artist, Turkish, clearly influenced by Picasso.)

2009-10-06T19:29:00.000-07:00

Here is a sign that was up on the door to the Wilmington Fringe Opening Gala.

It may have been intended as a Koan.

The entire Wilmington Fringe experience provided many spiritual lessons.

Fall Earrings!

2009-10-05T19:19:00.000-07:00

All year I have been waiting for the "Halloween" earrings (bats, spiders, ghosts, skeletons etc) to come back so I can stock up. I don't know where last year's all went. Into coat pockets and onto sidewalks I guess.

The nice girl at Tselaine asked where I got my ghost earrings, and I was embarrassed to tell her. But there was a 2 for 1 sale at Claire's.

I am going to heed these warnings

2009-10-04T19:15:00.000-07:00

Because these both look like bad situations to be in.

Requesting sb to do sth

2009-10-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

It really bothers me that in the back of Philly cabs there is a sign that reads:

A driver may request a passenger to: (and then the things)

We don't request somebody to do something.

It wouldn't be that hard to make the heading: "A driver may request that a passenger:"

Best Wipe Board Ever

2009-10-02T18:44:00.000-07:00

From Jung Ho's report on "A Religion Other than My Own."

This shares space with "Best Power Point Slide Ever," from Nargiza's presentation on "Something Interesting About My Culture." She chose "Bride Kidnapping," and the slide header was "Who Does Bride Kidnapping?" She had those animated bullet points that flew over:
*ugly guys
*crazy guys
*guys with pressure from parents

Actually, to be fair, I learned a lot from that report. Bride kidnapping is horrible. Here's the video she showed us: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjkWvt-OZLk

Ja, Maar,

2009-10-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

My parents brought one last box of my stuff I had when they came up for the wedding, and in the piles of randomness was this postcard from the Philosopher Prince. It was a fantastically timed return, and I stuck it, Dutch side out, in the frame of my mirror.

Fall is back, and so am I

2009-09-30T13:04:00.000-07:00

It's boots and sweaters, scarves and cider time, folks, and I received a love letter just in time.

http://saschaloves.livejournal.com/299191.html

Blasphemy!

2009-09-29T20:04:00.000-07:00

Here's a pile of skulls I drew.

I really, really wanted to make an ossuary after I learned what that is, but all my sculpey had dried up, and the internet said that there is no way to get it back once it's gone.

Days of Awe

2009-09-28T19:55:00.000-07:00

I was ready for the High Holy Days when they came, way ready. There was a lovely Shabbat at Leigh's and then on Sunday Daniel Student came over and we made up what turned out to be the most lovely and appropriate Yom Kippur services I could have hoped for.

The results are below.

Fish Index?

2009-09-27T20:23:00.000-07:00

3:09 PM Keith: Harkin is another good one. We could've had him instead of Clinton in '92 http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/9/29/787807/-Harkin-Guarantees-A-Public-Option

3:11 PM Also, Blobfish. http://fishindex.blogspot.com/2009/02/blobfish-psychrolutes-marcidus.html

3:15 PM me: Woah.
How did I not know about that?

3:16 PM The fish, obviously, not the info about vital health care legislation.

hobhipster

2009-05-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

When I went to watch the This American Life movie, and I looked around at all the hipsters, I had a revelation, which is that *I* am a hipster.

Why deny it? I might not have the pants, or the haircut, but it's only because I'm not putting enough effort in.

I didn't really like being lame at being a hipster, but then Rat coined the term "hobhipster" which is like a "hobgoblin" (lesser goblin.)

This is much more suitable.

Thanks Rat!

Birthday White Board

2009-05-15T20:29:00.000-07:00

This is what the white board in my classroom looked like on the day after my birthday.

Haikveiw- #4 Something Intangible

2009-05-12T05:20:00.000-07:00

you lazy writer
only a great actor could
make that script OK

P.S. In it's attempt to provide me with "excellent customer service" by refusing to sell me a ticket unless I gave them my full address and phone number during a 20 minute trip to the box office, the Arden successfully made me never want to go there again.

P.P.S. I do not like curtain speeches that ask for money, and when the cute actor stays on stage afterward to beg for it, I like it less.

I like putting googly eyes on things

2009-05-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

This would be almost impossible to improve upon

2009-05-06T12:28:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Li, who sent me this from the geniuses at here.

Less One Kingdom

2009-05-03T18:36:00.000-07:00

A bird moved in on our balcony. He lives in a hole, and we think there are baby birds in there, since if you are quiet you can hear "fee! fee! peep!"

Now all we don't have is amphibians. (ex. axolotl)

Wedding Dinosaurs!

2009-05-02T18:52:00.000-07:00

People at the Museum of Natural History = Not impressed with my master decorating plan.

Haikview #3 - Central High School Drama Society prevents "Harvey"

2009-05-01T18:53:00.000-07:00

bad mics, shaky sets
that kid in the fedora's
where I wanna be

Haikview #2 - In Arabia We'd All Be Kings

2009-04-30T18:46:00.000-07:00

so nothing happens
is that really so bad? and
molly casey rocks

Haikveiw- Spring Tides

2009-04-28T18:50:00.000-07:00

My haiku review (revku? haikview?) for "Spring Tides."

Finally something
with a girl in it, and sand
welcome, 119

Unicorn Town

2009-03-28T19:23:00.000-07:00

Dan and I were walking in Philly Williamsburg and we saw this unicorn. It was standing, randomly, behind a chain link fence in a triangle of dirt in the middle of the city.

Leggy's Revenge

2009-03-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

We have cockroaches in my classroom. Whenever one comes in, we get a multinational freakout, with screams of horror in 10 different languages.

The other day Abdullah killed a cockroach with his shoe, helpfully setting off a good practice in past conditionals, for the purposes of which I christened the departed "Leggy."

This led to some confusion, and now a lot of my students think that the English word for "cockroach" is "Leggy."

I either can't bring myself to, or don't actually want to clear it up.

At the Co-op a few days after the inauguration

2009-03-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

Starry Night Plecostomus

2009-03-25T16:51:00.000-07:00

Pretty!

Seriously? What does this mean?

2009-03-24T19:02:00.000-07:00

Is "score" a noun here? Like "a score?" If not it should be "beefily score," like in the imperative. But it doesn't seem like a command. "Beefily scored?"

I have no idea what this means.

Free him!

2009-03-24T18:43:00.000-07:00

The Beating of that Delicious Heart!

2009-03-23T18:42:00.000-07:00

Reading Terminal Market has anatomically correct chocolate hearts!

BKV, WTF?

2009-03-22T13:46:00.001-07:00

Yeah. Me neither.

Tacky front porch without the porch

2009-03-21T12:21:00.000-07:00

Our neighbors across the hall like to use that hall as sort of a storage unit.

Good thing it doesn't bother me.

Another Masterwork

2009-03-20T12:17:00.000-07:00

This is an illustration I made while trying to explain "Ants on a Log" to a room full of Thai and Japanese students.

For only having 3 dry erase markers, I think this is inspired!

Now I know

2009-03-19T11:56:00.000-07:00

Today I saw a sign on the street that said "Thursday is the Best Day For Waffles!"

When I came home, though, he just looked the same.

Hey, they got a new dinosaur!

2009-03-17T11:49:00.000-07:00

He's called 天宇龙, and he's from China! In English all the dinosaurs have "saurus" on the end, but in China they all have "龙" on the end because they are "龙." 恐龙！

Anyway, this guy lived in China, had feathers and was a herbivore, and he was tiny. You could pick him up like a chicken.

I don't really like this picture that the scientists made, so I'll make a new one and put that up.

The List

2009-03-16T11:41:00.000-07:00

I know I'm wrong about the New York Post Editorial Cartoon
I know I'm wrong about the fourth wall
I know I'm wrong to use "Straight White Guys" as a blanket term
I know I'm wrong about facebook
I know I shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition, even though it's generally acceptable now. As an English teacher, it's my duty to be a last holdout on things like this, like the English Teacher in "Frindle."

I just don't feel much like arguing, lately.

And I'm anemic, that's why I have to eat hamburgers. I could die.

The Fourth Wall is There to Protect You

2009-03-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

I have been using the phrase, "I know I'm wrong," a lot lately. I should probably make a list.

I know I'm wrong, but I like the fourth wall. I don't like it when the actors interact with the audience, unless it's a) on a Cruise Ship, b)Ionesco's 'Victims of Duty.' I like to sit in the dark and not participate.

As soon as I think there might be some actor/audience interaction, I start looking for a way to avoid it. And I always sit in the middle or back, where volunteers are never picked from.

Oh No, Performers Coming Into Audience

Shabbat Junkie

2009-03-14T07:42:00.000-07:00

Last night Ben and Emma had Shabbat at their house- it was Challah and tacos, sangria, folk singers, artists and teachers. If I could make a church, I'd make it like that.

After dinner Ben and his friends played guitar, banjo and two mandolins while we ate cake with our hands from potluck dishes.

It's the city I love and I am homesick.

Philly Needs More Dinosaurs

2009-03-03T14:44:00.000-08:00

All there is is that one hardosaur at the Natural History Museum, and the raptors they have out front.

Keith told me that the city of Pittsburgh is nothing but dinosaurs everywhere you turn. Then Dan told me that Pittsburgh is where Carnegie Institute dinosaurs come from, and they are the best. Also, Maloney comes from there, and although he's not a dinosaur, it still completes the trifecta which says: Pittsburgh is rad.

Then, today, I get this email from Rat:
"Dude, saturday is Dinosaur Day in Seattle. All the museums are having EXTRA DINOSAURS. "

Alright, Philly. Step up the Dinosaurs. Maybe you can get some with that money that Obama's going to give Mayor Nutter.

R8

2009-03-02T16:13:00.000-08:00

My commute is a safari of broken down things:

old tires
hollow frames of cars
giant spools of cable
discarded baby items
wooden palates
curves of chain link fence disconnected from their posts
shopping carts
empty train cars
and
endless skeletons of old buildings with little fleshy pieces still holding on

Today all of this was covered with snow.
When I looked down at my black coat and saw the tiny, perfect, flat and shiny snow stars that had hitched a ride on the wool, I knocked myself out contemplating the multitudes of spangly flakes piled up on all the wrecked things along the R8 line.

Adorable!

2009-03-01T19:31:00.000-08:00

Here is an adorable picture of Waffles and Miniwaffles hanging out by the pirate ship!

Some Wisdom

2009-02-25T18:25:00.000-08:00

for the edification of my readership. This one comes from "Indeed: The Collected letters of Steven and Cara 2000-2009"

me: As the saying goes, the fucking shittiest lessons you have to learn for yourself like goddamn dumbass

Steven: That's a catchy saying.

Lego Bees = A Systemic Problem

2009-02-23T09:03:00.000-08:00

This is some low income housing that I made out of legos the other day while Dan was cooking my dinner:

Looks like a nice place to live, right?

Right.

Except that, like three minutes later, the whole development was attacked by lego bees!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Lego bees!!!

Aaaaa!

I don't get it

2009-02-20T08:34:00.000-08:00

I don't know what wormhole I accidentally tripped into in the Adrienne last week, it must have gotten opened up during the construction going on in the lobby, but it deposited me into a world where the play 'Dying City' was nominated for a Pulitzer prize.

This play is like a laundry list of things Rob Baron told us never to do in Playwrighting I, and on top of that it's really offensive (to my humanity.)

I don't get it.

Pile of graves

2009-02-19T08:48:00.000-08:00

This is a pile of gravestones that Keith and I saw in the parking lot of the Romanian Orthodox Church in Unicorn Town. They are really old and you can't see it in the picture, but you can make out the words on most of them, although they are worn down and broken. At first, I thought that they were disconcerting, but actually I think it was just jarring.

Ryan's First Try Ale

2009-02-12T17:23:00.000-08:00

Ryan got a beer making kit for Christmas.

He describes his first effort as "warm flat and sugary."

Coming soon to a beef and beer near you!

Balllardtopia

2009-02-11T17:30:00.000-08:00

Rat just moved into an awesome new apartment in Seattle. She loves it, and I get lots of great picture texts of her Seattly neighborhood.

My favorite thing so far is that they love Waffles as much as I do.

At Shabbat, Leigh told us that in Israel, they call waffles "boffle," which makes me imagine a cool spinoff where Waffles goes to Israel to meet a fish called "Boffle," and they learn an important lesson about something. Peace? Religious tolerance? Not sure yet.

Runner Up

2009-02-06T18:13:00.000-08:00

Best use of quotation marks "ever"

2009-02-04T15:17:00.000-08:00

Your Valentines Day Innoculation

2009-02-03T16:23:00.000-08:00

From the philosopher prince.

No Costume Designer Listed...

2009-02-01T12:03:00.000-08:00

I have always said that if you go to the theatre, and open up the program, and you see one person's name listed 3 or more times, especially if one of those times is as the director, it's a pretty safe bet that you are not about to have a wonderful theatre experience. (This rule generally also works if you see the same last name 3 or more times.)

But this:

Is a first.

(Another first- I have never seen more people sleeping in a play. It was arena seating on four sides, and I could see, I swear, at least two people sleeping on each side.)

Zombies Ahead!

2009-01-26T17:08:00.000-08:00

Whoever did this is awesome, but the goofy Texan moralizing is less so.

I fell down again

2009-01-25T15:25:00.000-08:00

On the same knees as last time.

The Best ESL Writing of 2008- Winner!

2009-01-22T11:30:00.000-08:00

This year's winner, Saied E. with his essay "A City On A Hill"

Question: In your opinion, is America still a "city on a hill" as described by John Wintrhop in "A Model of Christian Charity?"

Before I decide is America a city on a hill, I have to know, what is a city on a hill mean?
I think it is a big term and I have a difficulty to describe in these few lines, but I will try to summarize as possible as I can.
What are the requirements of any city to be a city on a hill? I think there is a lot of things that make a city is a city on a hill. But I think it's different from one person to another. Everyone has his opinion about what is the city on a hill looks. In my opinion, a city on a hill must has a civilization and a heritage. It should not has economic slump, disputation, and no corruption.
Is a city that all people help each other to achieve their goals and those have great attitude and work with each other as one man. In my opinion, to be a city on a hill this city must has unique culture, weather, and situation.
In addition, people of this city must entertain each other in brotherly affection, no discrimination, crime, robberies and a bias.
A city that most people look to it as model of the best cities in the world.
Evolving is not enough to say that city is a city on a hill. There is a lot of things we have to consider when we say that.
Ultimately, if you think the USA has most of these things, so it is a city on a hill.

And the postscript:

Inaguration

2009-01-21T17:10:00.000-08:00

Here's the frozen pile of teenagers that were sleeping in front of us for 6 hours on the national mall. When daybreak came, they unfolded in slow motion, their faces towards the sun.

This is the capital dome. The first time I've ever seen it in a non protest context. Makes me think of David Castillo looking at it all stars-in-eyes like Jimmy Stewart. That feels like a very long time ago.

Obama's the president now, that's probably making DC happy, too, where he is now.

Recycling Ninja!

2009-01-14T16:15:00.000-08:00

For some reason there is no recycling on our side of the street. Instead we have these two industrial sized metal dumpsters out front that provide a squirrel feast of mythical proportions. Sometimes you can see a squirrel jump out of the garbage and back in, just like a dolphin.

Dan and I have been acting like there IS recycling, by putting our recyclables into a bin in the kitchen for the last six months. But now it's getting out of control and company is coming, so Dan sneaked across the street and left our six months of recycling in front of the neighbor's house.

Dan is a Recycling Ninja!

Que?

2009-01-11T12:34:00.000-08:00

I love taco night, but why would a bear be riding a donkey?

It doesn't make any sense.

2009-01-10T18:41:00.000-08:00

Hey! I made bubble tea! In the kitchen!

Here it is in a glass Chris gave me for Christmas two Christmases ago, a set of four with the Brooklyn Bridge, Grand Army Plaza, Williamsburg Savings Bank and the Penitentiary. I love them. As we all know, I'm a crap Buddhist, and from the moment I got them, I've lived in terror of their breaking, but so far (knock knock) so good.

Re: Hipsters

2009-01-09T18:31:00.000-08:00

I've noticed that Philly hipsters are totally OK.

I used to avoid the L like a mythical plauge train: shuttling disaffected pabst-drinkers from their haven in Williamsburg to whatever business they had in the city, and then back to bocchi ball and television.

But Philly hipsters are happy. And they have hobbies. They smile.

Leigh explained that it's because the Philly hipsters like wearing those clothes.

As opposed to in New York, where who knows why they do anything.

Yeah Philly! And yeah Leigh! (It's her birthday)

Erin McKean on Descriptive vs. Prescriptive

2009-01-08T13:07:00.001-08:00

I want to

a) date this girl
b) bring her message to the world

It's definitely worth watching her whole speech.

Crabby

2009-01-07T16:18:00.000-08:00

I also got this bunch of crabs from the well-known poet, John Keats, who memorably said:

'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.'

They mostly live in a ziplock in my schoolbag, except for the fiddler crab, who lives in my pocket because he's asymmetrical and needs more love.

Doin' Girl Things

2008-12-28T16:14:00.000-08:00

Here's a dress I made with my new sewing machine, which makes buttons FOR you! That means I finally got to use the dinosaur buttons I got at pearl paint.

Watch your back!

2008-12-27T16:02:00.000-08:00

I don't know what I like more, the giant sea scorpion, or the diagram.

They look like they're waiting for a bus.

I am finally getting the respect that I deserve from the scientific community

2008-12-26T15:59:00.000-08:00

From Tanya, re my new taxonomy:

I will pass this along to the editors of 'Science'. It is of the uptmost importance that this revolutionary breakthrough in high level taxonomy be disseminated to the greater scientific community. Especially the Pumas/mammals that don't fuck around group.
I am, however, a bit concerned about the low placement of the crabs and crab things, since this group presumably contains the mantis shrimp, which are clearly awesome.

Science is about to be awesomeified.

Axolotl Cute for a Little Salamander

2008-12-25T15:53:00.000-08:00

Behold my Christmas gift, which Rat commissioned from a designer on Etsy, that trove of awesome.

Flying Snake

2008-12-23T09:45:00.000-08:00

This guy is named Chrysopelea, and he can fly.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow

2008-12-18T15:06:00.000-08:00

Yo, gentle reader, I fell down. I'd like to tell you that I was running to save a baby. Kitten. Or that I tripped over something. But I wasn't, I was just walking around on my legs, and I fell down on the day of the office Christmas party and busted up my knees AND ripped my jeans.

Now I gotta buy new jeans and it's Christmas.

I'm usually a pretty stoic accident victim, since I've had lots of practice, but the office Christmas party made me get drunk, and when Dan tried to clean out the wound I am reported to have yelled "Ow, ow, ow...etc" until he gave up, which is why there are pieces of pajama fuzz in there.

You can't escape the 冰.

2008-12-17T18:10:00.000-08:00

Somebody gave Steven a case of 冰红茶 (AKA the forbidden tea) for Christmas.

Just thinking about that stuff makes my eyes flood with red dye number five and fall out.

Steven: So yeah, I have a bunch of the forbidden tea now. It's awesome.
I love it.
It was killing people, though.

Ship! Sheep! Ship! Sheep!

2008-12-05T18:08:00.000-08:00

Go look at this!

Professionally Develop'd!!

2008-12-04T14:11:00.000-08:00

Today I did an online teacher training, which was required for work. Mostly it just told me stuff about the curriculum, but the best part was when the screen came up that said "More About Pair Work" at the top, and had a random clipart of a handsome Asian businessman at the bottom.

"Hey," asked a jolly voice, "Can I talk to you about some of the potential problems of pairwork?

"Yes!" answered the person who I guess was supposed to be me.

Then the first person warned me not to pair a "creepy guy" with a "sensitive girl."

Online training, where have you been all my life? I wish I'd known that a long time ago.

I don't know why

2008-12-03T18:19:00.001-08:00

but cakes are making me laugh so hard that I think I am going to pee my pants.

see cakes

Ph'awesome

2008-12-02T19:08:00.000-08:00

There is a holiday tree in the middle of city hall, and it is so ghetto. It's all leaning over and covered in cheap looking ornaments from the dollar store and these kind of halfheartedly draped lights. It fucking rules, I love it. Dan says Mayor Nutter put it up himself in the dead of night, and now he's tired.

Addendum: There is also a totally lame Christmas Village with vendors vending really lame stuff. It's, like, the lamest Christmas village ever, and 74% of it is "Authentic German Style Christmas Tree Ornaments." What is that?

Delegating

2008-12-01T14:16:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I got in an argument with Keith at work, in which neither of us convinced the other.

Today, when he came in, he told me that, feeling unsatisfied, he had gone home and started the argument with someone else. And this person had come around to his way of seeing things. He felt better.

I'm thinking of applying this strategy to lots of things in my life. For example, when I try to teach one of my students about intransitive verbs, and they don't learn it, I'm going to go teach it to another student. Or if Dan doesn't like it when I don't scoop out the cat box, I'll go to Suzanne's house and not scoop the cat box, and she'll be fine with it.

Probably.

It's Holiday Time!

2008-11-30T14:01:00.001-08:00

And you know what that means!

Time to start following rules!

Tree

2008-11-22T17:27:00.000-08:00

More here.

This

2008-11-21T14:32:00.000-08:00

Rules.

Hedwig

2008-11-20T14:04:00.000-08:00

Hedwig and the Angry inch is playing at the Trocodero, and posing a dilemma.

What if I go to see it and it's bad? That would be unbearable.

What if I don't go to see it and it's good? I still haven't stopped kicking myself for missing it when it was John Cameron Mitchell in the village for 15 dollars. It's, like, one of the stupidest things I've ever done.

I think I'm just gonna go. I can always wash my brain out with the movie.

This Shit is so Creepy

2008-11-19T13:56:00.000-08:00

...that I don't even know how to start listing the things that are creepy. But any such list would have to include, the look on the brother's face, and the look on the sister's face.

In fact the only thing that is not totally creepy about this comic is the look on the baby's face, which hints at some awareness that something is very wrong with this picture.

English Firstly

2008-11-18T15:15:00.001-08:00

Rachel is teaching a class on the culture wars, and she had to find a speaker from the "English First" movement. These are people who believe that English should be the official language of the US, and want to take down signs in Spanish/Chinese etch in public places.

This be their logo:

The "Oh Snap" Trilogy

2008-11-17T15:23:00.000-08:00

Thanks, Rat

Synasthesia Emergency

2008-11-16T15:25:00.000-08:00

From Toothpaste for Dinner

From the Great Young Gyeom Kim

2008-11-15T15:28:00.000-08:00

Today in listening class we were doing the This American Life where John Hodgeman asks people which super power they would choose: flight or invisibility. I asked the students what they would choose before we listened, and most said flight. (Except Won Kyu (AKA Juan Q) and the new shifty guy from Libya.)

In the story, John Hodgman says that he ultimately believes that flight represents confidence and heroism, and invisibility represents fear and sneakiness. He surmises that people who choose flight are trying to project a heroic image of themselves, when in reality, the only honest answer is invisibility. He frames it as "a question of whether we want to be the person we hope to be or the person we fear we are."

After we listened, I asked the students if they wanted to change their answers, and this was Young Gyeom Kim's:

I'm going to keep flight, because it's better to be a confident liar than a fearful person.

One for the ages, Young.

I <3 >;;<

2008-11-13T19:35:00.001-08:00

All my life I have felt like something was missing.
And now I know what it was.

Axolotl, I think I love you.

Brian Yan said that they are endangered and that the only way I could get one was to move to Florida, become a resident, and apply to breed them.

And I'm considering it.

Oh my god! He's walking on his little feet! It's so cute! Holy Shit!

And look at this one!

He's all emo! Who's emo? You are!

In conclusion, I want one.

Moo!

2008-11-12T19:59:00.000-08:00

I asked Dan where veggie burgers come from, and he drew me this helpful illustration.

Words of wisdom

2008-11-11T20:15:00.000-08:00

"Before I will get older than now, I must bump against the world.
The world is very large, and there are many things that I have to do."

-Jin Young Kim
High Intermediate A

In space, your ship doesn't have to be aerodynamic

2008-11-10T15:13:00.000-08:00

Steven: I am rebooting You will be exterminated.
me: resistance?
Steven: Clearly futile.
me: Alas.

Dragon

2008-11-07T15:11:00.000-08:00

From Daan.
He's beautiful.

Dao Emergency Plan

2008-11-02T16:42:00.000-08:00

This sign is in the elevator in my building. I like it because it encourages people, in the case of a fire, to meander contemplatively down the stairs.

Inferiority Complex

2008-11-01T13:39:00.000-07:00

The lilies in the kitchen are so fragrant that my pumpkin spice smelling candles are shrinking in shame, and me a little bit, too, while I work in the kitchen.

I could never slice a lemon as good as they can put perfume in the air.

not found

2008-10-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

Facebook keeps showing me a photo of someone I love who is gone and asking pertly

"Add as friend?"

I haven't tried it but I know the link is dead.

Flowers for Daan Verhoeven

2008-10-29T16:47:00.000-07:00

My dinner made me think of you, Philosopher Prince.

When I was eating it at work, someone brought up the fractal cauliflower you told me of.

2008-10-28T13:24:00.000-07:00

The students mix up "can" and "do" a lot. For example, they will write something like:

"When I was child, I often eating Korean food, so I could like it very much."

or

"I love the swimming, so I can swim often."

And it is really difficult to explain the difference. I'll say "you were ABLE to eat the food, or you DID eat the food?" And they'll say "yes."

Recently, Mohammed wrote in an essay "I have always believed that I am different to the other people. When I do something, I can do that better than the others."

When I read that I wondered if everyone thinks so. I remember the moment when I realized that everyone has to swallow periodically to keep the inside of their mouth moist. Until I was six, I had thought it was my particular quirk. Does everyone believe that they are different to the other people?

Whenever I read a story, or even a novel, I think "I could have written that," and when I see some local artist's paintings in the High Point Cafe I think "I could have done that." Often, like when reading the in flight magazine, or a romance novel, I think "I could have written something better than that." I have felt this way all my life, about most things.

Recently though, when I think "I could have done that," a helpful skeleton person in my mind says "but you didn't."

Is difference between artists and everyone else is that artists make art?

Writers write.

Farmers farm. It's a known fact that if you wear overalls and chew on straw and have a business card that says "farmer" and when people say "and you, what do you do?" and you say "I'm a farmer," that does not make you a farmer.

There are action verbs and stative verbs, you learn this in grammar and in theatre. In English, action verbs are the verbs you do: walk, dance, go, murder and create. Stative verbs are the verbs that just are: have, see, hear and of course be.

In theatre action verbs are actable verbs. And be is not an actable verb. You can't put it in the "ing" form (I am being a rock star) and you can't do it. Not on stage and not in life.

This is wrong, but I still spend more time on "be" than any other verb. (I don't want to be an asshole, I am like her but not like him.) I can know this is wrong.

You were ABLE to know? Or you DO?

What I learned today:

2008-10-27T14:27:00.000-07:00

You can't talk shit about cake.

I said something mean about cake on the interweb, and immediately people came out of the woodwork in support of cake.

Steven: I don't know about you, but I like cake.
me: God who knew how much people like cake?
Steven: It's a pretty common thing.
me: People are passionate
Steven: It's true. Did you have a bad cake experience?
me: No, its sort of complicated
but someone pissed me off at work so I threatened to make them a pineapple upside down cake.
Steven: Is this you knocking your own cooking?
me: No, this is me having a chemical imbalance
Steven: Your crazy is nothing if not far reaching.

My friend works for Major League Baseball and all I got were these free World Series Tickets

2008-10-26T14:35:00.000-07:00

I can't speak freely because I don't want Dan to break up with me, but the Phillies do all kinds of things that some other teams don't always do, such as throw the ball so that the other team can't hit it, and run quickly from base to base.

Also the Tampa Bay Rays keep those rays in a dirty tank. People have their hands all in there and everything, and throwing hot dogs. What is this? The Chinese Zoo? Gross.

Love is

2008-10-25T13:53:00.000-07:00

Alexandra:
I less than three you
<3

honestly

2008-10-24T14:02:00.000-07:00

Dan said I lie a lot, and maybe that's true, but about most things I am not lying.

Here is a list of some stories, and if they are true:

Not true:
The getting shot in Arizona story
The "Dad in the Mafia" story
The deportation story

True:
The eye doctor story (English)
The eye doctor story (中文)
The baseball player/playwright story
The piano in the shed story

Based in truth:
The Chinese diplomat story
The farting story
The story of how my sister met her magician boyfriend

Pending
The uterus story

As you can see, MOST are either true or based in truth.

A Truck Bound for My Stomach Instead Crashed in Tacoma

2008-10-20T13:25:00.000-07:00

apparently.

Woah.

2008-10-18T07:46:00.000-07:00

No stunt fish were used.

Erie

2008-10-16T18:26:00.000-07:00

Our building is wedged between the housing authority and the Irish Cultural Center. That means our street has a disproportionate number of people who need housing, but it ALSO means we see a disproportionate number of beefy guys in kilts unloading bodhrans out of the back of vans with "Punk Rock Bagpipe" bumper stickers and drinking beer at 3 in the afternoon. So Bonus.